• Rough Boys on the Playground. “Finally, the other little girl with us stepped between Serena and the boy. She stopped him with her body and said in a loud, firm voice, “She asked you to stop. Please leave her alone.””
• Because Boundaries Are A Bad Idea. “Don’t tell me that toddlers need boundaries. Boundaries are a bad metaphor, especially where young toddlers are concerned, because most things counted as boundaries would be better conceived as positive expectations.”
• Ancestor Work. “I feel deeply connected with mothers everywhere. A million stand behind me, having birthed and raised their babies before I had my own.”
• Mangala Gouri Puja, or how to practice as a feminist.   “Even with daycare and formula and more technology freeing up the physical labor needed to sustain life and a household, women remain the only ones who can bear children. Let me tell you, that is hard work! So all of that is to say that I fully understand that men have more freedom to explore their spiritual path than do most women.”

What have you read recently that made you stop and think?

At that point the news wasn’t out yet that in fact the supposed Gay Girl in Damascus was a straight guy from the U.S., but when that news broke the corners of the Internet I watch had a lot to say about it, and then dropped it as quickly as any other Internet story.  But I’m still thinking about it.

I’ve written before about this blog as a space where I’ve experimented with increasing honesty and integrity about myself and my identity. From this platform I’ve jumped off to additional public expressions of my identity, my interests, and my ideas. I’m blogging for GoodVibes. I started Pagan Families.

My real name is attached to all of this, not one of the handful of Internet handles I’ve made up over the years when they were more common than using real names. Not a pseudonym like some of the people I’m interviewing for GoodVibes use to protect their personal lives from their work lives.

In 1999 Starhawk (whose work I taught a course on earlier this summer) wrote,

At twenty-eight, I didn’t mind being a rebel. The need for secrecy around Witchcraft just added to its charm. But at forty-eight, as I see the children grow up around us, I find the necessity for fear and secrecy around our tradition intolerable.

I guess I’m with her on this.  So there you go: I didn’t get around to coming out on Pagan Coming Out Day, but in case it’s not abundantly obvious, I’m a Pagan. PhD. Mom.  Who’s interested in food and sexuality and feminism and birth.  And I don’t think there’s anything to be ashamed of in that combination, but there are a lot of people out there who would wildly disagree.

I recently watched An Anthropological Introduction to YouTube (on YouTube!). It’s nearly an hour long and it’s from 2008 which in Internet years make it pretty elderly, but I really enjoyed it. Michael Wesch discusses the culture of YouTube, including the ways in which people cultivate the presentation of their identities, real or assumed.

More recently, many of my closest friends and I were privileged to be among the first to join the field trial of Google+, and so many of us engaged in a new round of thinking and talking about identity presentation on the Internet.  Newer sites like Google+ encourage the use of real names, but some people still considered using their old handles.  Google+ offers a flexible “circles” system that let’s you filter how you post content, because maybe what you want to publish about yourself for your grandmother is different than what you want to publish for your boss or your babysitter or your best friend.

Who are you on the Internet?  Do you use more than one name?  Do you use different social networks for different parts of your life?  When we’re all encouraged to craft ourselves as media presentations available for consumption, is it really such a big deal if we present ourselves how we wish we were, rather than how we really are (whatever that means)?

In Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Peggy Orenstein wrote:

Online, I carefully consider how any comments or photos I post will shape the persona I have cultivated; offline, I have caught myself processing my experience as it occurs, packaging life as I live it.  As I loll in the front yard with Daisy or stand in line at the supermarket or read in bed, part of my consciousness splits off, viewing the scene from the outside and imagining how to distill it into a status update or a Tweet.  (166)

In a few days I’ll be boarding a plane with my toddler and we’ll be off for a two week vacation in Boston – and I’ve been debating whether to bring my computer.  I’ll have my smart phone, but without my computer I’m unlikely to blog.  Since Bridget doesn’t really seem to understand phone conversations, and the computer will allow her to video chat with her Dad, I think that means I’ll be taking it.  But who would I be without it?  Offline?  Remember?  That place where we used to live our whole lives?

Since I wrote my first post I’ve learned a lot about blogging, about myself, and about the topics I write on.  Reproductive Rites has connected me with some very cool people.  Most recently, writing this blog gave me the courage to start Pagan Families.

Thank you to my readers, whether you’ve been here rooting for me from day one because the best friend contract says you have to, or you found me sometime in the last year and liked what you saw.

After trying out a few toddler-sized explanations of why we were walking in this particular parade, I settled on this: We’re in this parade because we think it’s okay for anybody to love anybody else.  When she gets older we can add more explanation, like how it’s possible that anyone would disagree.

If you watch this video very carefully you can see me in a red hat, walking at the far side of the street starting around 10 seconds.  Bridget’s in the baby carrier and I think she’s actually nursing! (Bridget’s dad is more difficult to spot, but he’s there.)

Since then I’ve been giving it more thought.  Is breastfeeding a locavore choice?

La Vida Locavore seems to think it is.  Assuming that the person who is lactating is eating a locavore diet, breastfeeding is certainly consistent with making food choices that reduce the consumption of resources in pursuit of social, economic, and environmental sustainability, .

On the other hand, I didn’t make the choice to breastfeed because I try to eat locally.  I chose to breastfeed because I thought it was the healthiest way to feed and nurture my baby.

I’m curious what you think.  Is breastfeeding locavorism or is it silly to call it that?

*I took this week’s Free Farm Stand blog pix with my phone, so yes, that’s Bridget checking out the carrots.

Niki is a mother and a student of theology who wrote a guest post here at Reproductive Rites about parenting and privilege.  If that’s not enough she’s also a contributing editor at Pagan Families, with a new post up today about the perils and pleasures of naming babies.  I wish her all the best with her new project and plan to be reading along.

Pregnancy and birth are mysteries.  They are, in fact, among the great mysteries of life.  I believe that they’re also initiatory mysteries.  There are things you learn by experiencing them that are very hard to understand otherwise. But one shouldn’t have to go into pregnancy and birth without a map.

When I was pregnant with my daughter I read lots of books about pregnancy and preparing for birth, about postpartum depression and breastfeeding, about emotional changes in motherhood and about . . . no, not about the spiritual aspects of this huge life change, because I couldn’t find sustained resources that spoke to me.  So now I’m making one.

Actually, I’m making it with a lot of help and I need a lot more help.  Sierra Black has already graciously allowed me to re-post her birth stories and Niki Whiting has contributed a new essay on being a holy mother.  Other writers have promised to make contributions.

I know lots of Pagan families have already performed baby welcoming rituals or written prayers to mother goddesses for a healthy pregnancy.  I want to pool this wisdom and also nurture the creative work of those who want to write on these topics.

So the vision for Pagan Families only works if many people contribute to the site.  Take a look at the submission guidelines and consider whether you might have something to contribute.  Thanks!